Category Archives: Children

Berlin, Children, God, Newfrontiers

The church destroys families – Part Three

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I am guessing that this may be the final instalment in this short blog series about the church destroying families. If you have missed the first two and would like to read them, please click either here for Part One and/or here for Part Two.

So, I broke off at the point at which, under the heavy-handed guidance of the church leaders, my wife and our two youngest children returned to England, leaving our two oldest children and me temporarily homeless on the streets of Berlin.

When we managed to move back into our old apartment, we had no furniture. The churches who had promised to support our older children for three more months stopped their support without warning. So I had to take out a loan and work the night shift in a gas station in order to provide us at least with the basics you require in a family home. I remember that the early weeks together were a real challenge, not only because my oldest son and daughter were trying to come to terms with the sudden implosion of our family but also because they had made some very unpleasant experiences during the few weeks when they were living on the street. For me, too, I missed our two younger children so badly and wanted desperately to see them.

At this point, looking back, the behaviour of the church leaders becomes more and more absurd, and I still do not fully understand why I went along with all their destructive, controlling and even illegal nonsense.

The church leaders forbad me to have any contact with our younger children. They reasoned that the church was there to protect them and my wife from the pernicious, rebellious behaviour of our two older children and me. Were they to be kept away from us, they may well remain Christians. When I pushed and pushed to see them, however, the church leaders after four months agreed to let me see them, on two conditions. First, I had to agree to meet with the leaders in order to undergo a debrief and disciplinary measures, and  secondly, I had to agree that another couple from the church would accompany my wife and younger children when I met them in England since the leaders were fearful that I would try to abduct them and get them swiftly on a plane back to Berlin.

This fear was explicitly communicated to our younger boys, and especially the youngest expressed his concern that I might kidnap him while we were playing at a farm play park together in Sussex. It was such an emotional time. Our older two children, who had flown with me to England, were so damaged that they could not deal with the situation. Meanwhile, our middle son expressed already a wish to return to Germany, to go back to his Berlin school and to rebuild our family again. In his new school near Hastings, he was constantly bullied for being a Nazi (just because he had arrived as a new boy from Germany) and the school had a policy of teaching three classes together in one large room, which meant that there were at least 45 pupils in one class.

After a very tearful good-bye, our oldest son, our daughter and I flew back to Berlin and we tried to rebuild our lives, now at least with the occasional phone call to England in order to keep up a degree of contact with my wife and the younger boys. For the next few months, it was clear that our youngest son was traumatised and unable to understand why he was being separated from his father and siblings, and our middle son, who still desperately wanted to get back to Berlin, was never given any pastoral care by any member of the church.

Then, after just a few months, my wife called me from England and announced, to my amazement, that she was leaving the church and returning to Berlin with the younger boys. I will never forget the date or the moment as I watched my tears of joy discolour the sofa. Our oldest son and daughter were also very surprised, but we prepared for the return of my wife and younger boys and festooned the apartment with banners and balloons.

My wife’s decision to return to Berlin was regarded as a further act of rebellion by the church leaders and it cost her her friends as well as her church membership. She too, like our oldest two children, had now also rebelled and that would be the end of the road as a Christian woman in that church. A church for which she had given up her life, her family and personal career. To this day, the only people who are still in contact with her are either other rebels who have left the church and joined a new congregation or those whose lives who also been shipwrecked by this church.

It is now four years since all this happened. I believe that all six of us are so grateful and relieved that we have managed to escape the imprisonment of this sect. At first, I never believed that I would lose my faith through all that happened, but in time, I did. When you are trapped in a sect, you really do believe all kinds of abject nonsense and so I am also truly glad that I do not believe in God any longer. Ditching my belief in God has been the most liberating experience of my life.

As we as a family have continued to re-build our lives, there continues to be no contact from either the church in Hastings or the church in Berlin.

Of course I know that the church in itself does not destroy families. It’s just that a blog article needs a catchy headline. What can destroy families is delusional religious beliefs, combined with the social structure of a sect, combined with individuals in a church, who, when all the given external circumstances and internal character weaknesses collide in the wrong way, create the destruction of a family. It’s rather like a chemical reaction: if all of the conditions are right, an explosion will happen.

All as I can say is that I have experienced so much more grace, forgiveness, enlightenment and genuine friendship outside of the church than within it. And as I have written several times before, if my writing this blog can help any others to steer clear of religion and/or to escape a sect, then I will have achieved my aim.

If you are happy in your church, good for you. But if you are not truly happy, maybe you should ask yourself the following questions:

  1. When was the last time you saw a blind person see again, a lame person able to walk, a dead person raised to life?
  2. Why does a loving God allow young children to die in appalling suffering in Yemen or from Ebola in Congo?
  3. Whatever happened to God’s promises about a revival of the Christian faith in which millions of people turn to Christ?
  4. Do you really believe that God sends believing Muslims, Hindus and people of all other faiths to eternal hell?
  5. Are you still struggling with the same sins that you were struggling with ten years ago?
  6. Is any part of you being repressed by your faith in God, especially your sexuality?
  7. How do you really react, deeply and honestly, to the quotation at the bottom of this page? Your reaction will tell you all that you need to know.
“The Christian faith is essentially selfish because it plays on our most basic human fear: the fear of death, the dissolution of our ego. When I accept Christianity’s conditional offer of the salvation of my soul, I am admitting that the world ultimately revolves around me. Religion owes its ongoing existence to this pitiable flattery of personal vanity.”
Berlin, Children, God, society

“Who will rid me of this turbulent priest?”

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Addressing worshippers in the Vatican this week, Pope Francis said terminating a pregnancy was the equivalent of getting a hitman to “take out a human life to solve a problem.”

Not that this is anything new. During another preach, Pope Francis has said that abortion is “what the mafia does. It’s a crime. An absolute evil.”

Sarah Cartin, from the campaign group Christians for Choice, branded the Pope’s remarks “absurd”.

She told Sky News: “Pope Francis once again shows complete disdain for women by making absurd and inflammatory statements about abortion.”

And she’s right. How insanely insensitive such comments are for women who have been abused or raped? How dare this old man tell women what they should do with their bodies? His hypocrisy beggars belief. On several counts.

First, when Pope Francis preaches on such issues, he extremely rarely quotes the Bible. He bases his out-of-date and offensive remarks on his personal opinion and occasionally on the handed-down traditions of the Roman Catholic Church. What kind of spiritual leader proclaims the message of his beliefs, however erroneous, without at least quoting the sacred writings on which those beliefs are founded?

Secondly, how can Pope Francis, a man who leads an organisation best known for the systemic sexual torture of countless children worldwide, be heralded as anything other than a steward of hypocrisy is a testament to what people can get away with when they claim to be speaking for God. The insincerity one needs to promote progressive ideals while maintaining draconian practices, like those embedded inside the Catholic Church, is incalculable.

Thirdly,  where does this “knowledge” come from that proves that a human being exists from the moment that a sperm meets an egg? If an acorn is not an oak tree, why is a potential person already a person? In the Jewish religion, you become a person only from the moment of your first breath. For abortion to be labelled as the murder of a human being, the crucial scientific, legal and even biblical facts are categorically missing.

I am not against the notion of protecting the rights of the unborn, but it is not for a man to make imperative declarations or to pass laws on what women can or cannot do with their bodies. No man will ever know what it is like to have to control one’s fertility for over thirty years, let alone to carry a child for nine months, or to experience the pain of childbirth, or to take the major responsibility for the upbringing and care of another human being for the rest of one’s life. The decision to terminate a pregnancy belongs to the mother. Period.

“Abortion is part of being a mother and of caring for children, because part of caring for children is knowing when it’s not a good idea to bring them into the world.”  Katha Pollitt

Berlin, Children, God, new writer

The church destroys families – Part Two

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… continued from “The church destroys families – Part One.”

The church I had come to know back in 1991 that had preached grace, family and friendship turned out to be a sect shaped by rabid competition, the male ego and fake relationships.

Tragically, I found myself in the perfect environment for me to blow everything up. For in me there had been a time-bomb ticking away since my childhood about which I had no real knowledge. Until, of course, the bomb went off. It was not consciously a cry for help. I completely lost control. And I am truly sorry.

Once this had happened, there was a rush of hysterical activity amongst the Newfrontiers church leaders. I was disciplined and within 12 hours my existence was deleted from every Newfrontiers church website with whom I had ever been associated.

As you will see, there is no mention of my decade of leadership or the enormous sacrifice our family made to plant a church in Berlin.

My wife was instructed by the church leaders to return the UK with all four children and to leave me on my own in Berlin. While I was out one afternoon, three church members came to my home and removed over 1,000€ worth of my books and other property and all the church members were instructed in no uncertain terms that they were not to have any contact with me. The only couple who refused to obey this command were thrown out of the church which today calls itself Mosaik Kirche Berlin.

A photo of just some of my things that church members stole from me.

My wife was put under so much pressure (church leaders and their wives were flown out from the UK to Berlin to convince her) to return to King’s Church Hastings that she felt she had no choice but to shut down our apartment in Berlin and return to England, even though our two oldest children were telling her that they would not get on the plane unless I went with them. The church in Hastings  paid for the flights for her and our four children as well as for the removal expenses of all our furniture.

However, when the day of departure arrived, our two oldest children, aged only 16 and 14 at the time, did indeed refuse to go with her and so remained literally living on the streets in Berlin for several weeks. The dreadful consequences of this church-induced  rejection and homelessness are still to be felt to this day.

Meanwhile, I secretly went to the airport to say good-bye, in my heart at least, to my wife and our two youngest boys but was caught and even blocked by one of the church members, a very dear young woman whom I had personally brought to salvation and who now works for King’s Church Hastings, and who had accompanied my wife and younger children to the airport. I had been so proud of this young woman and had loved as my own daughter. Solely out of respect for her, I decided to leave the departure area and went to the top of the airport car park from where, with my face drenched in tears, I watched the EasyJet plane take off, believing that I would never see them again.

A secret photo, taken on 1st October 2013, of the EasyJet plane on which my wife and two youngest children left me in Berlin. I call it to this day “Der fliegende Sarg” (the flying coffin).

I was subsequently reprimanded by the Newfrontiers leaders for being so stupid, selfish and unrepentant as to go to the airport.

These same leaders also told me that I was to have no contact with any of my children, not even the older ones. Out of a mixture of fear, bewilderment, sadness and guilt, I initially obeyed. Then one morning, my daughter contacted me by SMS, asking to meet up with me, and my paternal instinct suddenly overcame my obedience to the sect. At this time, I too was living as a tramp under railway bridges on the streets of the city, next to drunken old men masturbating into their sleeping bags, and the entire remains of 53 years of my life as a christian Oxford graduate could be found in a locker at Berlin Alexanderplatz station.

The locker no.25 at Berlin Alexanderplatz in which I stored the only “property” I had left with which I lived on the streets with the homeless.

By the way, not one single friend from the church I had started and sacrificed our lives for in Berlin made contact with me, except for the couple who had been thrown out. And just like David Stroud, the so-called Newfrontiers apostle to the UK churches, who had sent us to Berlin, never once visited us, so the current leader of King’s Church Hastings, who would never have been appointed as a leader there, had it not been for my heavy intervention with Newfrontiers apostles, never came to Berlin to help me through this devastating crisis. A betrayal that reveals the ugly level of devoid-of-relationship, personal ambition involved. And actually, the Newfrontiers apostles were right. This man has transformed the church from a pioneering, exciting, Holy-Spirit-charged, working class, mission-orientated church to a comfortable, middle class, sheep-stealing, politically project-oriented church that will inevitably go the way of Wesleyism. And I only just realised whilst writing this blog post, that  most of the current leadership team,  were discipled by me and not by him. He hasn’t even brought one single person that he has personally discipled into leadership. Fail.

Meanwhile, grace, understanding and genuine friendship were all to come instead from secular people, in particular the parents of my children’s friends. With their advice and support, I quickly built up the contact with our two oldest children and soon the three of us made arrangements to return to our former, empty apartment.

Slowly, we began rebuilding our lives. My two oldest children tried to get back into school, I continued to work to provide for them and I managed to buy enough new furniture for us to get by in our old home. Whatever happened, we had to remain there for 3 months until the rental contract came to an end.

At this time, I asked the leaders of the Newfrontiers churches who had been supporting us with the new church in Berlin for 3 months’ financial support so that we would not get into debt until we could downsize our apartment. I was told at first that they would help us. I still have this assurance in writing from a leader who was nicknamed “the old woman” by other, even so-called apostolic, leaders.

The promise of financial help for my children for just three months, after all that they had endured for the sake of Newfrontiers church mission, that never materialised.

However, all the financial support was withdrawn without any notice a week later and my children received no support, mainly on the grounds that they were rebellious sinners who should have obeyed their leaders and gone back to England with their mother and two brothers.

To be continued …

“To be fair, much of the Bible is not systematically evil but just plain weird, as you would expect of a chaotically cobbled-together anthology of disjointed documents, composed, revised, translated, distorted and ‘improved’ by hundreds of anonymous authors, editors and copyists, unknown to us and mostly unknown to each other, spanning nine centuries.” ― Richard Dawkins, The God Delusion
Berlin, Children, God, new writer, society

The Church destroys families – Part One

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I have been encouraged by so many of you to tell my story, so I will. In installments, I guess. Not at all out of revenge, but because I’d like once again to warn others of the dangers of getting involved in Christian Churches that may not look like a sect , but actually, they are.

If you’d like to read a check-list that will help you discover if the church you are in is a sect, please read my earlier blog article “Am I in a sect?”

I want to stress throughout this biography that I take full responsibility for my choices and actions and that I do not wish to place the blame for my actions with anyone else. I believe, even after all this hurt, that I am, whatever my circumstances may be, a free agent and can and must decide for myself what I do each day of my life. I sincerely apologise for and deeply regret the devastating damage I have caused in the lives of those whom I most love and respect. Even though we are all trying to pick up the pieces, our lives will never be the same as a result of my irresponsible and selfish actions. I would also like to express my deepest gratitude to those who have treated me with inexplicable grace.

This is not about blame, it is about telling my story so that others can be helped to avoid the mistakes that have cost me my marriage and career. In my experience, certain churches destroy certain families. Especially when combined with certain character weaknesses in its members.

In 1992 I got involved, via my mother-in-law, with a church called King’s Church Hastings, which was a member of a Christian movement called Newfrontiers. Both the church and the movement seemed to me back then like the extremely authentic version of Christianity that I had subconsciously been looking for. These people seemed to believe uncompromisingly what is written in the Bible. I admired this stance because I had always questioned why other Christian movements accepted some elements of the Bible but not others. For me, either the Bible must be entirely correct and relevant or it is all wrong. “Why would it be only partially right if it is God’s word?” I reasoned.

Very soon after joining the church, my wife and I were asked to be its youth leaders. The youth group grew numerically at this time. Then I was encouraged by the church leaders to quit both my well-paid job at a local university and my almost-finished D Phil in order to become the paid leader of the church. This I did for 9 years, and towards the end of my time there I was encouraged to go to start a new church, similar to the one in Hastings, in Berlin, largely, I guess, because I could speak fluent German. Starting new churches in other nations had become a big issue in Newfrontiers at that time so I was given lots of encouragement and profile. As in any other social grouping, although you are technically free to choose, the perceived need to confirm often blinds you to real consequences of the choices you are making. So I was massively applauded for making the gravest mistake of my life.

Nearly all the new churches were started with teams of about 20 people or more in order to provide much-needed support and protection but in the end we were sent out on our own as a family of two parents with four young children by a man called David Stroud, today the leader of a multi-site church in London. So we landed abroad in a city of 3.5 million people where we knew not one single person. We were given some money, but that was all. David Stroud, the man who took responsibility for sending us to Berlin, never even visited us once. We were left high and dry and I had to take on two full-time jobs in order to keep the family going. I will never forget the night when my middle woke up in the night and caught me answering church e-mails at 2 am and said: “Dad, you work to relax.”

All our children, who had been doing very well in school in England, did badly in school in Berlin because they could not speak German and my wife understandably became depressed as the children became more and more unhappy.

Nonetheless, the pressure increased weekly to grow a new church quickly. Articles and trendy videos were published across Newfrontiers about other new churches that were growing really fast, with no regard for cultural context or the size of the start-up teams.

The church I had come to know back in 1991 that preached grace, family and friendship turned out to be a sect shaped by rabid competition, the male ego and fake relationships.

Tragically, this was the perfect environment for me to blow everything up. For in me there had been a time-bomb ticking away since my childhood about which I had no real knowledge. Until, of course, the bomb went off.

To be continued …

“Religion. It’s given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.” Jon Stewart.

Berlin, Children, movies, new writer, society

So proud of my daughter

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Next Monday in Munich my daughter will be seen in her first role in a movie. The premier will take place at 9 pm in the Sendlinger Tor Film Theater.

“Yung” has been nominated for awards in several categories and I am really looking forward to being there, proudly hiding in the back row.

Her film is not for the faint-hearted. It follows the lives of four young women  into the vibrant, hedonistic subculture of Berlin. The official description  runs:

“Janaina, 17, earns money by making Internet pornography. Her best friend, Emmy, 18, finds the whole city intoxicating, without realizing that she’s getting deeper and deeper into a cycle of addiction. Joy muses about love when she doesn’t happen to be selling drugs. And Abbie, 16, dreams of escaping to Los Angeles. YUNG is a roller-coaster ride through the lifestyle of the millennial generation, but it’s mainly a pure, rough, and authentic portrait of friendship.”

Knowing all the actresses and actors as well as the director makes the film even more exciting for me. Some scenes were even filmed in our apartment. It will no surprise to those who know me that the director asked me to make it more untidy for the shooting.

If you are not able to be there, please like the Facebook page.

The film will be showing in other cinemas around the country once the Munich Film Festival is over. For more information about the Munich Film Festival, please click here.

There is also a review from 27 June 2018 in the Süddeutsche Zeitung.

“I know I’ve finally become a teenager because my parents have started getting really triggered about everything.”   Ewan.

 

Berlin, Children, God

King’s Church Hastings, UK

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In the last few months I have been working with a journalist who is writing a biographical account of my life, in particular since our move  from the UK to Germany. The article will be published in the coming weeks in the German national press as the basis of a plea for more social enlightenment about the issues raised. The journalist is now provoking me to translate it into English and to have it published in the UK too.

I’m as yet undecided, partly because I am not into vendettas, but I thought I would tell some of the story on my blog as a litmus test. In telling my story, my aim is simply to protect others.

Having grown up in a pagan family in the north of England, I became a Christian in 1991 during a gospel preaching service at King’s Church in Hastings. My conversion turned my life on its head and all my beliefs and values were aligned with those of fundamentalist Christianity.

By 2002, I was married, had three children and was leading the church. I would say that the strongest characteristic of the church during my leadership was mission (Christians sharing their faith with non-believers and caring for underprivileged families).

During 2008, I was strongly encouraged to leave Hastings and to start a brand new church, from the ground up, in Berlin.  Newfrontiers – the group of churches to which King’s Church Hastings belongs – is fiercely committed to exporting its brand of Christianity to other European cities. I agreed to go, sold our house and car and took my wife and by then four children to start a new church in the centre of Berlin.

In contrast to other so-called church plants, we had no team to help us. No relatives. No friends. No contacts in the city. There were just the six of us. On our own. We were given financial support, yet without a congregation to pay your salary, living in the capital city of the wealthiest nation in Europe, I had to take on a second full-time job in order to pay the bills. The pressure was enormous: my wife became sick and lonely, all four children suffered from isolation and culture shock, the competitive culture to make a fast-growing church out of nothing in an extremely secular society, the stress of effectively two full-time jobs all came together to produce a catastrophe that was to end in family breakdown and divorce.

Meanwhile, I got into significant moral difficulties that led, amongst other things to the loss of my so-called secular job and my laying down the leadership of the new church.

This is the point in my life when I most needed the support from the members of King’s Church Hastings. I was so desperate. What happened next is still hard to believe, even to this day. Five years later.

On the day my sin came to light, my family and I were swiftly deleted from every page of the King’s Church Hastings website, along with every reference to the exciting church plant in Berlin. Every recorded sermon, every article, every photo. As in the movie “Enemy of the State”, it was as if my whole existence had been suddenly deleted. You can check this out for yourself by visiting www.kingshastings.org Just as with some of the child sex abuse in the Roman Catholic Church, instead of honesty, transparency and accountability, there was nothing but cover-up, deceit and denial.

Next came the need for financial support for my wife and children until I could find a new job, at least. The response of the church’s leaders was to pay for my wife and four children to leave me in Berlin and fly them back to live in England. Instead of love, care and reconciliation, we were offered division that ripped us apart as a family. Our oldest two children (then only 16 & 14 respectively) refused to get on the plane and ended up living on the streets for several weeks until I was able to find them. The youngest two had no choice but to go with their mother. The damage to their emotional and educational development are still with us today.

As for the financial support for the oldest two children, this was promised until I could find a job, but not a cent was given. Furthermore, one close friend in King’s Church Hastings sent me £300 to help us, but he made the mistake of telling the leaders who then forbade him to send us any more money privately. Which is similar to what happened to my other close friend who wanted to come out to Berlin to offer me some much-needed moral support, and she too was effectively forbidden by the leaders from coming to visit me.

The moral of the story is: it is best to stay away from religion, especially Christian sects. And if you don’t escape, I guarantee you that the church will ruin your life.

“I’m completely in favour of the separation of Church and State. These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.”   George Carlin

 

Berlin, Children, European Union, God, politics, refugees, vision, war

God’s revenge on the USA

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So, very sadly, I was right yesterday. Trump has already after only a few months in office gone down in history as the world’s biggest ever mass-murderer. Thankfully, his crass stupidity has opened up much bigger opportunities with other nations like China, leaving the US behind as a future “third-world” nation.

Maybe Almighty God will now spit the USA our of His mouth, just as He has promised to do with many others who do not obey His commands and just as He allowed to happen to His chosen people on account of their disobedience during the Holocaust (Deuteronomy 28, especially verse 49!)

Below is an account from Sky News today, who, for the first time ever, have taken a pro-European, as opposed to a pro-UK/US, perspective.

Mark Stone, Europe Correspondent in Brussels

 I was in the vast Paris convention centre late on that December night back in 2015 when the climate change accord was agreed.

The jubilation among the delegates was palpable. Politicians, scientists, activists were all ecstatic.

They were surprised too. After the total failure of the previous summit, five years earlier in Copenhagen, they had finally achieved what they had thought was impossible: almost every nation had signed the accord.

Nearly a year later, in November 2016, I was in a US rust belt town in Pennsylvania as America prepared to vote. Out of work and with their factories shut, the people of Johnstown, Pennsylvania chose Donald Trump.

:: Trump announces US will withdraw from Paris climate deal

His promise to “make America great again” had resonated across large swathes of the country largely because he promised to get their jobs and their industry back.

Mr Trump’s pledge to pull out of the Paris accord meant, they believed, that their factories would reopen, their jobs would be returned to them.

It was a cruel populist tactic and it has now been compounded. In an hour long statement on Thursday evening Mr Trump held true to his word.

“In order to fulfil my solemn duty to protect the people of the United States we will withdraw from the climate accord,” he announced from the Rose Garden of the White House with a jazz band and fake applause.

The factory workers are thrilled, naturally. But it’s impossible to see how, ultimately, it will make their lives better, let alone reignite their factories.

Far from putting America first, leaders globally now believe that he has put America last.

It will be left behind as other countries accelerate, with unprecedented enthusiasm, their green energy initiatives. That will have an economic impact.

The flurry of condemnation from around the world was a hint of how big a deal the Trump decision is.

In their joint statement, Italy, France and Germany expressed their regret and said they believed the climate deal gave substantial economic opportunities for prosperity and growth.

It’s true that the accord unlocked significant low carbon investment and innovation globally creating more and more jobs.

France’s President Emmanuel Macron, in a rare 11pm live televised statement, said: “I want to express myself a few hours after the declaration of the President of the United States of America because this is serious.”

“The US has turned its back on the world.”

“France will not turn its back on Americans,” he said, before inviting American scientists to come and work in France.

He ended with: “Make the planet great again”.

The EU Commissioner for climate action and energy, Miguel Arias Canete, issued a lengthy statement condemning Mr Trump’s decision and concluded: “Today’s announcement has galvanised us rather than weakened us, and this vacuum will be filled by new broad committed leadership.

“Europe and its strong partners all around the world are ready to lead the way.

“We will work together to face one of the most compelling challenges of our time.”

John Kerry, the former US secretary of state who was instrumental in ensuring success in Paris in 2015, described the decision as “an ignorant, cynical appeal to an anti-science, special-interest faction far outside the mainstream”. (Ed: Of course a veiled reference to Christians).

He added: “If the world doesn’t press forward faster, we’ll see stronger storms, longer and more intense droughts, more wildfires, a swell of climate refugees and intensified conflict around the world.”

China, once the climate change villain, is now seen in an altogether different light.

While Mr Trump was speaking in the Rose Garden, the Chinese Premier Li Keqiang was dining in Brussels with EU leaders.

It is China’s enthusiastic commitment, along with India and Japan, to stick to the Paris Accord that will, it is hoped, mitigate the decision by Mr Trump.

While there is significant disappointment and dismay at the decision, there is reserved confidence among politicians, scientists and activists that the pledges made in Paris in December 2015 can still be met.

So maybe there are a few silver linings to Mr Trump’s toxic cloud.

The world, minus just America, will now have new impetus, willingness and resolve to implement the Paris accord and ensure the fight for the environment can continue.

Already, extra support for developing nations to help them meet their goals has been pledged.

New bonds are being formed as old ones fray. The European Union and the world’s largest emitter, China, releasing a joint statement on fighting climate change is significant.

The European Union sees this as an opportunity to reassert itself globally.

And given that significant portions of the American electorate are against Mr Trump’s decision, it seems certain that climate change will now be a key theme in the next US election.

It’s not often that climate change features highly in election campaigns.

I fear ,though, that the silver linings won’t stretch as far as places like Johnstown, Pennsylvania.

America’s rust belt workers will be disappointed.

Ed: I rest my case.

Berlin, Children, Education, God, new writer, society

Home alone

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In a strange turn of events, my daughter has gone on a spontaneous, three-week trip to Cambodia (as you do!) and my oldest son has finally gone to New York for a couple of weeks, leaving me home alone.

I am so rarely on my own that this is a really strange experience. Yet it has given me time to think. On the one hand, it is right that parents let go of their children as they mature, but on the other hand you miss them and want to be there for them.

Parenthood is such a privilege and a challenge. No matter what we parents get wrong (which is usually an enormous amount!), the bond is still so strong. Even as I am writing, I am have just observed a blackbird on my window sill collecting as many dead twigs in its beak as it can in order to build a nest for its next generation of chicks. Outside I can hear the male birds singing their hearts out in order to attract a mate. This reproductive and parental instinct lies so very deep in us.

Today I feel like celebrating my four children. They are all so different, yet the same somehow. Replete with great strengths and weaknesses. A curious combination of both mum and dad, genetics and society, joy and pain, free will and predestination. They have been through a lot, some of which I have shared in this blog before.

A few years ago, we went through an enormous family crisis, and most unfortunately, we were involved in a Christian sect. This sect tried to split our family up. They set everything up to take my wife and children away from me, even paying for the flight tickets from Germany to the UK. Tragically, my wife and two youngest children went along with this evil charade. At first. I was even instructed by the leaders of the sect not to go to the airport to say good-bye to them, can you believe it?

I will never forget that day, 1st October 2013, when I nonetheless secretly went to the airport to watch them board the orange and white Easyjet plane, flanked by two members of the sect. As the tears flooded down my face, I said good-bye to them in my heart, never knowing whether I would ever see them again. A few days later, a leader from the sect met with me and had the audacity to reprimand me for being so rebellious, sinful and stupid as to go to the airport in the first place.

The consequences of the sect’s interference have been very long-lasting. My youngest son did not see his father for one fifth of his life. The emotional scars are plain in him for all to see. My middle son had, amongst other things, his entire education messed up. My poor wife, who eventually realized  that she had been manipulated by the sect into abandoning her two oldest children, decided rightly to return to Berlin and was consequently ostracized not only by the sect in the UK but also the sect in Berlin who all had to do what the sect in the UK told them to do. Just like in “Enemy of the State”, existences were deleted from the web, Facebook sites were abandoned – the whole sect shut down and shut out. So-called Christians in Berlin for whom my wife had sacrificed her life and family. So-called Christian friends, together on a mission for Jesus, for whom she had given up countless hours of her life, caring for them and offering such generous hospitality in our family home. Every single one abandoned her and to this day has no contact with her.

Our two oldest children, who were street-wise enough to see through what the sect was doing, refused to return to the UK and remained with me in Berlin, even though they were told that police would forcibly take them to the airport. They hid and slept on the streets for a few days instead. They too have been unbelievably damaged by the reprehensible actions of this sect. And I am still trying to work it through with them four years on.

Thankfully, this courageous family bond and instinct  cannot be broken by a sick sect. Okay, we are still picking up the pieces, but each challenging day feels like a victory for love, grace and truth.

Am I angry and bitter? Not at all. have I forgiven these people? Definitely.

So what’s my point? First, on this beautiful spring day in Berlin I wanted to write a eulogy to my wife and children. I love them very much and I am very proud of them. Secondly, I would want anyone who reads this to be preserved from having anything to to with the pernicious lies of religion. I can promise you, especially if you are going through a hard time, you will receive so much more insight, truth and grace from the world than you ever will from any church.

Erm, I think I spoke too soon about being home alone. My middle son has just popped by and is hungry. Why do I have this feeling that I am about to kiss good-bye to that tasty piece of filet steak on the second shelf of the fridge?

Seconds later: “Dad, could you cook me that filet steak, you know, medium rare with that herb and mustard topping that you did last time? That was the best steak I ever tasted. Oh, yes, and with some homemade chips (aka fries) too?”

Yes, that bond and instinct runs so deep. The closest thing to altruism I know. It’s time, once again, like the blackbird, to gather the dead twigs and build my family …

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

Philip Larkin

Berlin, Children, Cooking, new writer

Lentil burgers

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Time to a break from the heavier contributions and to provide another of my self-made recipes. This is something that I invented for my vegetarian son whose flight to New York for tomorrow has just been cancelled. Darn it! I’ve just made some of these for him to cheer him up.

Method and ingredients

Soak the red and yellow lentils (chana dal) for a few hours and boil them briefly but leaving them a bit firm and certainly not soggy. The burgers will have more of a “meaty” effect/texture of you leave at least the chana dal a bit firm!

Meanwhile fry up the following mix:

  • Onions
  • Garlic (optional and not too much)
  • Peppers (red and green)
  • Mushrooms (lots of)
  • Kidney beans (mashed up)
  • A tomato if you have one to hand
 Season generously with:
  • Vegeta
  • Pepper
  • Salt
  • Sugar
  • Paprika
  • Thyme
  • Mixed herbs
  • Fresh basil
  • Fresh chives
  • Fresh parsley
  • Fresh coriander (small amount if available)
  • Sambal oelek
  • Curry powder (small amount optional)
  • Lemon juice (small amount optional)
 Then mix the two mixtures together (cooked lentils and fried vegetables) with 2 whisked eggs and a cup of plain flour and a sprinkling of breadcrumbs.
Finally, shape them into burger shapes, coat them lightly in breadcrumbs and gently shallow fry until golden brown on both sides.
If desired, add some goat’s cheese to the mix for extra flavour and texture.
If you are not a strict vegetarian, these burgers also taste great sandwiched in a bun with a couple of strips of fried bacon and some ketchup and/or chili sauce.
Enjoy!
Berlin, Children, Cooking, new writer

Crispy Chicken or Falafel Wraps

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Woe! My last blog caused a bit of a shitstorm of e-mails! Even the preacher wrote to me (how did she know I had written about her?) massively challenging my interpretation of Romans 9:8 or Galatians 4:23  and John 14.6.

Still, dialogue is always healthy and I will write another entry addressing all the main concerns expressed in the e-mails, but I need a few days to do some research. TGIF.

In the meantime, the friends of my kids keep telling me I should share some of my recipes because they love my food so much. So, I have decided to publish a few recipes as a light-hearted alternative to all the heavier issues.

Here is the first of my self-made recipes. The real beauty of this recipe is that there is something here for everyone. If you have guests or fussy children, I would recommend laying out all the ingredients on appropriate plates/dishes and allowing them to make their own, choosing the ingredients they like best. Nonetheless, these wraps taste at their best, like a good Döner Kebap, when you include everything.

Ingredients
Wraps
Falafel
Butter
Humus ( a must!)
Iceberg lettuce
Cucumber
Peppers
Cherry tomatoes (optional)
Radishes (optional)
Giant white beans (optional)
Sweet corn
Fresh herbs (optional)
Lemon juice (optional)
Red onion (very thinly sliced)
Salad dressing
Sweet chilli sauce
Feta cheese (optional)
For a non-vegan version
Chicken nuggets or chicken schnitzel
Bacon ( must!)
Butter
Method
Fry the falafel/chicken and bacon and prepare the salad. The wraps are best if the falafel or meat elements are still warm when you serve them! Once everything is prepared, warm the wraps either in a flat-bottomed pan or in the microwave quickly and then butter the wraps lightly (if non-vegan) and coat them with a generous layer of humus. Next, layer the salads elements of your choice over the surface of the wrap (onions go on last) and lightly cover in salad dressing and a little lemon juice and fresh herbs. Then add the falafel or chicken and bacon and sprinkle with chilli sauce before folding into a roll.
Tip: the wraps can be wrapped in tin foil and eaten later cold. The foil also helps the wraps to hold their shape while you eat them!
To improve the presentation on the plate, you can also add some chips (AE) or crisps (BE), shaped radish, a blob of extra humus, guacamole, peanuts, salsa dip, chilli sauce or anything you fancy that would look nice.
Bon appétit!