It has taken me a couple of days to write again. I have been so upset by what has happened in my city, even though we are still waiting for details to emerge.
Last night I went to the Breitscheidplatz Christmas market which is right next to where I used to live. There was an eery silence while hundreds of people laid flowers and lit candles. Very faintly in the background I could hear Christmas music and a vacuous sermon from the Gedächtniskirche, totally out of kilter with the prevailing mourning.
When I went into the KDW, the largest department store in the EU, it was empty. Three days before Christmas. Surreal.
My main concern is the sadness for those who had their lives so unexpectedly and tragically taken from them, for the injured and for all those who are close to them. This tragedy will affect the most relaxed capital city in Europe for many years.
My secondary concern is that a possible act of terrorism will achieve the goals of those who carry it out. Society becomes divided. Acts of mercy are described as treachery. Racism rules. Trust is undermined. Faiths are divided although believers worship the same God. An ominous fear prevails. Democracy is hijacked by extremists.
This morning on the way to work there was a very large holdall unattended on the station platform. As I got nearer, an Asian guy approached it and I asked him if it was his. “Yes,” he replied. For the first time in my life I realized that the question was meaningless: if he was a suicide bomber, it would make no difference.
On the train, I then read about that (excuse me) fucking idiot, Nigel Farage, saying that this event in Berlin was Angela Merkel’s fault. Horst Seehofer and the AfD are following suit.
In Berlin we have the first ever ruling red-red-green coalition. Last week, it looked as if Berlin was going to pioneer the political future model for Germany. As just one minor example: they have up-to-now rightly stood against increased video surveillance of our city. Will all that change now?
I hope against hope that my adopted city and country will not give in to the aims of terrorism. I hope that democracy and freedom and racial tolerance will prevail. And I trust that, in spite of all current appearances, the pen will triumph over the gun.